That day, he only said: Lie down.

The sound on the door was light.

But for a moment, I knew I wasn't going back.

He stood at the door and looked at me.
It's not that polite. It's a direct view.
Like being sure of something.

"First time"?
Loud, no laughing.

I nod my head. My throat's a little dry.

The lights were dimmed by him.
There was only yellow light in the room and the air suddenly became thicker.

Lie down.

No more explanation. No more hospitality.

My heart beats so fast when I get down.

He didn't touch me right away.

Those seconds are more exciting than touching.
I can feel him standing behind me.
Knows he's watching.

The first drop is in the palm of the back, it's hot.

Not gentle, but heavy close.
The whole back ridge was strained.

Relax.
He said.

The tone is very close.

I don't know if he meant it.
Every time the pressure falls in the most sensitive position.
It's not itching. It's not hurting.
It's the kind of thing that makes people feel like they're contracting.

He's getting closer.
I can even feel his body there.

The moment I breathed behind my neck, I had a tiny larvae all over me.

He didn't talk.
But it seems to know everything.

The abdomen slowly go down along the ridge.
Slow. I can feel every inch of my skin slips.

I'm starting to wonder.
He guided,
Or am I on the run?

I almost held my breath when he stopped at the border.

Stop.

The second,
There's only my heart beating in the whole world.

He's down.
Close enough, I can feel the heat in his chest.

"You're shaking."
He whispered.

I didn't answer.

Because I know.——
It's not cold.

His hand moved again.
Not across the border.
But just on the line.

Every slide is like asking:
"Are you sure you want to continue?"

And I didn't say no.

When I finally managed to breathe,
He laughed.

Not flattered.
It's confirmed.

At the end, he pulled my towel back to my place.

It seems like nothing happened.

But I know.——
I've just been too close.

And the most dangerous is not his hand.

It's me.